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Tuesday, January 12, 2016

What You Shouldn't Look for in a Relationship

I've heard lots of opinions on this topic, and I've come up with a list of what is important in a relationship and what isn't. I want to start off though with what is NOT important in a relationship, as Christians. I will explain why, as some of these ideas are very counter-culture to the world's idea of what is important in a relationship.

1.) As Christians, it is not important to find someone who is "compatible" "clicks" or "ignites a spark within us"- I've found this to be an issue for guys more so than girls. I've asked some guys what they find most important in a relationship, and this is their number one. The three terms I used are relative terms. Feelings change, and one day that spark you initially had at the beginning might be gone. What do you do then? Is it really important that you and Laura like to play bingo, go to baseball games, and love sushi? Nope. It doesn't matter one bit, especially because Laura can easily fall out of liking those things. I'm not exactly sure how having the same interests, unimportant ones, equate to a successful relationship or marriage. There are plenty of couples out there who are polar opposites and work just fine without being "compatible."

2.) As Christians, we should not nitpick about frivolous matters- This includes: nitpicking about the type of clothing he or she wears (it's tacky/gaudy/ugly/dated/etc.), nitpicking about the type of music he or she listens to (unless it's vulgar or inappropriate), nitpicking about how his or her hobbies are something you have no interest in, etc. Get the picture? You cannot say no to someone just because you dislike a very tiny aspect of their life that has no bearing on their spiritual life. If it does, then that's different, but most of the time I hear people nitpicking about small things that are not as important as what's inside.

3.) As Christians, we need to stop looking at the outside and instead examine the inside- This can be a tough one to swallow for many females, but it's important not to say no to someone just because you think they "aren't cute." Obviously looks are not an important factor as someday that cute guy walking down the street will be an aged 70 yr. old non-cute man. Appearance is relative. It's fleeting, and it's fading. And it's not just age that can change a face. Take into consideration that perhaps you might end up with someone who eventually becomes a burn victim, an acid victim, or in some other tragic accident that might horribly disfigure them. It's in those times that you cannot base your relationship on outward appearances.

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