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Monday, August 17, 2015

Lessons Learned: About Singles

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I've been around many single young women long enough to notice they all seem to have one thing in common- they think the desire to marry is embarrassing, because they all tell me this:

I don't want to get married til I'm 30 or I'm happy being single.


And those are the two LIES I hear all the time. When I ask someone who is in their twenties how they feel about being single, I hear one of those two. Or the tell-tale "I will never marry!" That one is a big giveaway that they're actually very lonely and having a pity party/low self-esteem. Almost any female who says this is down about how there is no one interested in them, no prospects, and thus they've resigned themselves to singleness forever. All of these sayings annoy me to no end, because they're all lies. How do I know?

Well for one, the people who tell me one of those two things give out clues about how they really feel when they slip-up in conversations or just by their actions. I've had someone tell me they wanted to wait a long time to get married and they were fine being single, and then several minutes later say how much they hate Facebook because all anyone posted on it were engagements and relationship statuses. I've known several young ladies who said they wouldn't marry for a long time or at least until thirty because they were so content, and then several months later they're in a relationship and soon after get married. Obviously they weren't content being single- they just assumed nobody would be interested in them and decided to pretend they were okay with that.  I think it's more embarrassing to be caught in a lie and for people to know you're really just playing the "I'm fine game," than to admit you have a desire to get married but God hasn't allowed that to occur yet and so you will continue on doing what God wants in the meantime. What's so bad about that? There's nothing desperate or embarrassing about that. 

And two, well, I'm single as well. I know how it feels. I also know that you don't want anyone to think you're desperate, sad, or lonely, so you feel the need to cover up and pretend that you're happy 24/7 with the single life. The truth is, being single has its ups and downs. One day you can feel completely fine, and others days you can feel completely horrible. It's okay to tell the truth and admit that sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it is absolutely wonderful, but ladies, it's time to be honest. The more you lie, the easier it is for everyone else to see the truth based upon your actions. So tell the truth, embrace your singleness, and don't be ashamed!

P.S.- If you need to talk about it or would like prayer, you can always let me know through the contact form. I'd be happy to help!

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