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Tuesday, July 28, 2015

The Biggest Mistake 20-Somethings Make




Ready for it?

Moving Away 

Okay . . . so what's the big deal about moving away? 20-somethings normally move away for any of the following reasons:

1.) There's an issue/lots of stress going on where I live, and if I moved, everything would be better.
2.) I can't find the right person- If I moved, I would.
3.) I hate my job- I should find a different one.
4.) I'm bored and need adventure- If I moved, I'd get that.


Do you see the pattern? We're dissatisfied with our current lives, so we think (and very wrongly) that if we could just move, everything would be different. So instead of facing the problem head on, we take it with us wherever we go, thinking we've gotten rid of the problem, but we've only compounded the problem. If you don't face your problems now, nothing will change when you move. You may feel fine when you move- for awhile- but the same issues you never dealt with back in your hometown will come back and be ready for you to tackle.

Moving solves nothing. 

Maybe you're having problems at home with your family, you're tired of them, you want to be left alone, very far from them. Maybe there's too much negativity. Maybe you have broken relationships with your family. Maybe you don't have any friends. Maybe you live in a retirement community where you can't make any. Okay, so you have a problem. Moving away will not fix your broken relationships. It will not fix the fact that your family will still call, email, or text you when you're away and you'll still have the negativity thrown at you, just not as much as before, and those same issues you had before will still be there when they get in contact. You'll still have the stress of having to deal with that. What if you move somewhere, thinking that you'll make friends, and when you get there you realize there's barely any way to meet new people who are like-minded? What if you find out that it's harder? What then? You can't move again, or maybe you can, but you might be going back to square one again. 

Okay, so you can't find Mr./Mrs. Right. So you move. But what if when you move, the place you move to barely has anyone with the same beliefs? What if you find out the denomination you adhere to, doesn't exist in the part of the country where you live? What if you moved to a town 
that does have a multitude of churches with the same beliefs but you get there, look around at all the churches, and all of a sudden you wonder, Where are all the singles? Or How come there's only women? I moved here to find Mr. Right, and they don't exist here either! What do you do then? Pack up and move to a town where you will probably run across the same issue? It's another risk you're taking.

The workforce is always going to be difficult for you at some time or another, but maybe it's more than you can handle right now. So moving and finding a different job seems like the best option, right? What if you are moving because you can't handle that awful co-worker or maybe a cruel boss, but when you get to your new job, you find out that what you were dealing with at the old job was nothing compared to the new one! What if your boss is 10 times worse? Or instead of having an annoying or disgusting co-worker you get one who berates you and makes fun of you? What do you do then? You're taking another risk by quitting.

So you're bored with your current life (I know the feeling). So maybe you're bored because you've been stuck at the same job, doing the same thing everyday for the past couple of years. Maybe there's nothing fun going on- it's just the same old routine: wake up, go to work, come home, go to sleep. Five days of boring in a row and on the weekends you don't have time for anything you want to do. It's become monotonous, so you decide to be spontaneous and adventurous and move. You find a job that sounds cool and take off. You get there, but what happens when the adventure wears off? What makes this new location so different from yours? You'll get into a work routine, again and forever until you retire, and eventually get bored. You've just set yourself up for the same problem to occur.

So what's the solution to all of these issues? First, you need to face the problem and be ready to deal with it. The root of all these issues is discontentment, and the solution to fixing them is becoming content with where God has placed you.

Now that doesn't mean that if you're having serious family issues, you just accept them. If there's something you've done wrong, make amends. If you're in a situation that is harmful to you, then it's important to get out. If you can't do anything else about your situation- like maybe you're just constantly irritated by a family member's presence, then maybe it's time to adjust your attitude about the situation. Pray about your situation. Ask God to change the negativity. Ask God to help you overlook the negativity of others and only care about what He thinks about you. Pray for God to mend relationships that are broken and to give you the endurance you need as you live among it.

Finding the right person is all in God's hands and timing. As long as you're in His will, doing what He wants, being where He wants you to be, you can't do any better. You just have to wait. I know, it's cliche, but it's very true. When there's nothing left to do, you just pray and continue in His will.

You are always going to have issues in the workforce, period. You can do two things to help out your situation: pray about it, that God would work in the hearts of those who are around you, if they're treating you poorly, and you can change the way you respond to the negativity. If you get angry and lash out because of the way they treat you or become annoyed and show it, then you really need to adjust your attitude concerning that. Pray for God to give you the strength to continue showing the love of Christ to others no matter what.

Being an adult isn't fun and games. You're going to have to give up certain activities in order to provide for yourself. Gone are the days of childhood when mom could find an activity to entertain you with every day of the summer. Life gets boring. Routines can be boring. But that doesn't mean you have to be bored to death! You can travel every now and then, you can do something for fun on the weekends, or you can make the effort to find a hobby. There are always new things to do that can be fun, even picking up a volunteer shift can change things up a bit!

So if you're planning on moving, please think about why. Are you doing it for the reasons listed above? Or are you doing it for good and solid reasons, as in this is God's will? Prayerfully consider whatever you decide to do!

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