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Friday, November 27, 2009

Being Content Under Pressure

In my last post, I mentioned the state of contentedness as an unexplored realm by most especially in today's culture. Being content is important in order to appreciate God's gift of singleness. It's also important to fuel ourselves into a state of contentedness by not falling into the world's beliefs concerning our state of singleness. Today's culture says that if you don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend by the time you're eighteen, something is wrong. If you're not married at a young age, something is wrong. The list goes on and on, I know. I've experienced the bombardment of culture. It happens often- always being asked if I've met that someone yet, when adults or friends try to be the ultimate matchmaker, people hinting that at my age they already had someone, etc. . . . It can be amusing or it can be hurtful. It's as if the only way others perceive that I can be happy is if I find the right one. The pull of the worldview that I should almost be married and the pull of God telling me to enjoy my singleness is tough to handle. Because of this pull, I couldn't decide what I really wanted in life- to be married at a young age or to wait and get married at an older age such as late twenties. I was pretty torn. I leaned towards being married at twenty-one. I know, pretty unrealistic, but that's the way I felt. I felt that if I absolutely had to get married at that age or I'd be considered an old maid. I felt life just wouldn't be fun if I couldn't be married soon. Little by little though, the Lord showed me the benefits of singleness, and how to be content in my estate. Marriage is a wonderful institution; it lasts until either of the partners dies. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, so is being a parent. Once you're a parent, you're a parent forever. Once married, life changes; suddenly life becomes intertwined with the duties of maintaining a marriage, a husband or wife, and eventually children. There isn't much time anymore for the friends that were you were once so close to before. You can't do a lot of things you did when you were younger due to new responsibilities. Looking at marriage in that light, I realized that singleness doesn't last until the end. The times spent with friends and your own original family don't last until the end either. Singleness is a transient state that should be enjoyed and cherished. As I considered these things, I realized what I really wanted. I want to get married some day and have a family, but not anytime in the near future. Those wonderful responsibilities can wait. There's nothing wrong with being married at twenty-five or any age older than that; it just means God gave you more time to spend with Him. I want to enjoy the time God has given me right now, to be devoted to Him alone, and be the best friend and daughter I can be. The state of singleness will be gone all too quickly, and I will just have to look back with sad memories that I wasted my life pining away because I had no one. I want to look back with fond memories of a time where singleness was a wonderful stage in my life. Singleness is a state to be enjoyed, and I want others to know that I'm content if the Lord waits to send me my mate or if He sends him some time soon.

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